Bringing out Joy from Within
Have you noticed that when kids experience joy, their whole face lights up? They feel emotions fully from the inside out. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, this joy gets lost. Research shows that happiness peaks in our late teens into early twenties and hits rock bottom during midlife, in our forties. This got me thinking and researching about how to cultivate and maintain the same level of joy that we experienced during our peak.
In my research, I discovered that there are two types of happiness, natural and synthetic happiness. Natural happiness is when you feel happy without putting in effort. This can happen when receiving a gift, graduating, or getting a promotion. Synthetic happiness is creating happiness ourselves, and this requires effort. This is important to note because it means that we can create happiness for ourselves. The primary drivers to create happiness are authentic living, gratitude, focus, and social relationships.
Authentic Living
Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project wrote, “First, we need self-knowledge. When we know ourselves, we can shape our lives to suit what’s true for us.” Reflect on the times when you felt most happy. What were you doing? Who was with you? Try to create more of those types of moments. Sounds easy enough, but it’s not always. We’re constantly worried about what others think of us and it takes courage and commitment to do what is right for yourself. Living your authentic life may take a lot of effort and courage but stick to it and you’ll enjoy life more fully.
Gratitude
When we hear gratitude we often think of journaling about what we’re grateful for. Journaling does improve happiness but there are other forms that boost our happiness levels even higher. When we donate or give a gift to others where we know they’ll benefit and appreciate it, we feel high levels of happiness. It doesn’t even have to be expensive and, if you can’t afford a small amount due to financial circumstances, then donating your time and energy will do the trick.
Focus
We’ve all heard meditation and mindfulness reduces anxiety, but who knew that it can increase our state of happiness? Focusing on a task vs. mind wandering has been shown to improve our wellbeing, whether you enjoy the task or not. What can also help here is seeing the task as a privilege rather than a chore can help you do better and reduce stress and pressure. Next time you’re doing the dishes, focus your thinking on your hand movements, how the water feels when it hits your hands, and the temperature of the water.
Social Relationships
A Harvard Study on happiness tracked adults over 80 years of their life and found that close relationships, more than money or fame, was what kept people happy throughout their lives. What I found interesting was that there has been additional research demonstrating that even small random connections, including small talk with strangers, can leave us feeling happy. Next time you’re at a coffee shop, try chatting with the barista while waiting for your coffee. It’ll be a great way to start your day. An added bonus is that investing in our family, friends, and peers can also provide a social support network when challenges and stress presents itself.
What are you already doing? What can you improve on? What is something new you can incorporate in your life?
